|
You
know you're in Texas when
- You no longer associate
bridges (or rivers) with water...
- You can say 110 degrees without fainting...
- You can make instant sun tea...
- You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron...
- The temperature drops below 95, you feel a bit chilly...
- You discover that in July, it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car...
- You discover that you can get a sunburn through your car window...
- You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance...
- Hot water now comes out of both taps...
- It's noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is out on the
streets...
- You actually burn your hand opening the car door...
- You break a sweat the instant you step outside...at 7:30 a.m. before work...
- No one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car or not having air
conditioning...
- Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on
the pavement and cook to death"?...
- You realize that asphalt has a liquid state...
Sign Wordings!
- In the front yard of a funeral home,
"Drive carefully, we'll wait."
- On an electrician's truck, "Let us
remove your shorts."
- Outside a radiator repair shop, "Best
place in town to take a
leak."
- In a non-smoking area, "If we see you
smoking, we will assume
you are on fire and take appropriate action."
- On a maternity room door, "Push, Push,
Push."
- On a front door, "Everyone on the
premises is a vegetarian
except the dog."
- At an optometrist's office, "If you
don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
- On a taxidermist's window, "We really
know our stuff."
- On a butcher's window, "Let me meat
your needs."
- On a fence, "Salesmen welcome. Dog food
is expensive."
- At a car dealership, "The best way to
get back on your feet - miss a car payment."
- Outside a muffler shop, "No appointment
necessary. We'll hear you
coming."
- In a dry cleaner's emporium, "Drop your
pants here."
- On a desk in a reception room, "We
shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd one just left."
- In a veterinarian's waiting room, "Be
back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
- At the electric company, "We would be
delighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't, you will be."
- In a Beauty Shop, "Dye now!"
- On the side of a garbage truck, "We've
got what it takes to take what
you've got." (Burglars please copy.)
- In a restaurant window, "Don't stand
there and be hungry, come in and get fed up."
- Inside a bowling alley, "Please be
quiet. We need to hear a pin drop."
- In a cafeteria, "Shoes are required to
eat in the cafeteria. Socks can eat any place they want."
|
